A Cali Guide to Staying Up All Night (Finals Edition)

Have you ever woken up late and aware that you won’t be making it to your first, second, or third class? If not, I don’t believe you. It’s possible that you were up all night re-watching the “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”, wishing you could blame your imperfections on being a mole person, while you were suppose to be finishing your capstone project. A project that’s conveniently due just before the day you’re pretty sure college will make you drop dead. No matter what your personal situation is, you now have to choose between passing or sleeping. You forfeited the right to have both when you stalked your worst enemy on social media for 3 hours then looked up videos of elephants eating pumpkins for 3 more.

Enemies & Elephants aside, I have come up with my best 10 tips for staying up all night. I need to let you know that these are not doctor recommended, they do not comply with any health standards, and you could avoid this entire thing if you were just a little responsible. Seriously. Just one time. Be responsible.

Let’s start with the obvious and work our way to weird:

  1. Go to a coffee shop. Duh!

Obviously this is my number 1 recommendation. In Indy there is a place called the Thirsty Scholar that’s open until midnight or 1 am depending on the day. This keeps me sleep free until half time. I personally recommend Americano’s because it’s all that kick of espresso, without drinking it straight. If you’re a sugar and spice kinda coffee lover, then go for your lattes and mochas, but add extra shots of espresso because that will give you a whole different level of spice (if you know what I mean).

*I don’t actually know what I mean*

  1. Go to the gym! Sorry Friend!

Once I leave the coffee shop (about 1 am) I do the 6th safest thing a person can do in the city in the middle of the night. I go to the gym. My workout is simple because you don’t want to make yourself too tired. I do cardio for an episode of whatever I’m binge watching on Netflix & then I read my textbook while I do whatever else seems fun (yoga, weights, more cardio, whatever floats your boat). Not only does working out while doing homework sound hard, (it’s so flippin’ hard) but you look super together while you do it. It epitomizes the phrase live your best life because instead of looking like someone trying to stay up all night because you procrastinated way too long, you look like a super student who is killing the game and busting her strong, independent, successful butt to make dreams happen. I’m serious though, nothing makes me happier than looking at a stain on my textbook and being able to say, “this one isn’t a tear! It’s sweat!”

  1. Go get groceries!

You could’ve prepared like a responsible adult and already purchased your favorite snacks and sodas, but then you wouldn’t get that extra cardio in from walking around your local grocery. Get some snacks that bring you joy, maybe something to bake for a short break later. I like to buy Diet Mt. Dew, Flaming Hot Cheetos, sour cream to dip potato chips in, and popcorn. I typically already have icecream, Double-Stuffed Oreo’s, and a frozen pizza in my apartment prior to the all-nighter extravaganza.

  1. Dance the sleep away!

When I’m alone I put on a record and I dance around and do chores for about 10 to 20 minutes at a time. You don’t have to do that, but it’s 10/10 fun and Cali recommended. If my roommates are home, my contingency plan is to put headphones in and do the exact same thing, except with pants.

  1. Drink all the water!

This one may actually be doctor recommended, but not officially, because I didn’t ask. Drinking a ton of water rehydrates you after you consume copious amounts of coffee and that’s important! I try to have 2 glasses of water for every cup of coffee I drink. The frequent trips to the bathroom will also help you stay awake! Everything about this one is a winner.

  1. Make it a party!

The only thing crazier than staying up all night is staying up all night with a friend or 2! Everything is just easier with friends! If you don’t have any, friendship is a skill and you have to practice it! So put on your big girl pants and go make a friend to stay up with you when you’re irresponsible. If they’re really your friend then they are probably in the same boat as you anyway. This is also a sneaky way to split that snack cost from grocery shopping.

  1. Take a bath or shower!

This could make you sleepy, so proceed with caution, but I love taking a bath when I stay up late! Just pour in some bubbles to channel that inner 4 year old and break out your aromatherapy that energizes you! I recommend fixing a cup of coffee to sip on while you enjoy the warmth and rejuvenation of the water. If you are dead tired at this point, you could probably turn on the cold water and stand under it to wake up, but I would never do that to myself because I don’t hate myself.

  1. Get weird!

Sorry, that was a little bit vague. There will be a point in the night where you’re so tired your mind starts to deteriorate a little, so use this to your advantage. Reach deep inside yourself until you find the little gremlin that you hide from the world. You know the one I’m talking about. Everyone thinks we have fairy-god-mothers or the angel/devil shoulder combo, but realistically we have a sleepy little gremlin that lives deep in our souls who only awakens when the faint voice of crazy cries out. It’s the gremlin that says, “You know the hottie you sit by in market research? Stalk his social media and then once you can’t view anymore new photos, ADD HIM ON EVERYTHING! Sure, it’s 3:00am, don’t worry, it’s cute!”

*It’s not cute* *But it is an effective way to get an adrenaline rush*

  1. Get on a dating app!

Obviously this only works if you’re single. If you aren’t single and you do this, I reserve the right to call you trash. Take a break from the books every few seconds to create a profile and then start swiping. This is a variation of the previous step because it can be just enough of a rush to wake you up, but it’s also not very time consuming. For example, let’s say your ex-boyfriend had an attractive ginger friend you always thought was cool. Swipe that dude right and wait. If you match, you not only get a rush, but also a good laugh and a sense of I still got it, that only that situation can bring. –Not that I’m speaking from a real experience *cough cough*

  1. Go outside!

We are ending on a more practical note, but it is effective. It’s rated 5 stars by me, myself, and I. At about 5 or 6 in the morning the sun comes out and it is a smidge safer than it was an hour prior. It’s really peaceful outside at this point (even in Indy) and taking a short walk and breathing deeply can help you relax while also waking you up a little more before your presentation/exam/whatever.

I hope this helps you the next time you enter into midterms, finals, or whatever it is you procrastinated on! I also want to put a disclaimer out there that this blog is partially for entertainment and the views of people, dating apps, and pure opinions expressed in  are not necessarily the shared belief of all peoples involved in the creation of the blog. Also, I’m the only person involved in the creation of this blog, so make of that what you will.

Thanks Friend!

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